Original Notes
After Action Review - Dublin Heavy - March 2015
Date: March 2015
Author: Red Rucker
I remember looking down at my hands, at the flagpoles I was carrying.. looking back at the team and having it all go through my head again..
I was the weak link. Injured. Not pulling my load. The team was under a log, struggling bad. They needed every man and woman that could've been mustered. I was of no use. Just minutes ago, maybe 10, I was coming to peace with perhaps having to let go, due to the immense pain going through my leg/IT Band and the risk of a greater injury. I was dragging my leg in full lock-out to be able to move forward.
I looked at the flags again.. and I realized -- someone had to carry them. If not me, then it would be one less under the log. Even without that realization, if this was an actual mission, an actual scenario - I wouldn't have the opportunity to tap out. If we had to reach Endex/Exfil, do or die - I wouldn't give up.
... After that, I was given the teamweight, and I never thought of quitting again.
From that point on, I was put in the front with a flag and another - I was the slow one, and it was the only thing that made sense. Team wanted me to give up my ruck, and I said no quite a few times, until a certain line was spoken to me - "Check your ego" - and I held my tongue, and gave it up. It hit me hard, that one. It was a reminder for sure..
Cadre tried bullying us, and putting some on the spot. One mistake from one, leading to punishment for all. We saw it for what it was, a test. Testing our team, and there was no way we would break now. It didn't even faze us.
At one point, I got my ruck back again. "Carry your own." My buddy in the front, my GRT-brother, would eventually link arms with me to keep me up as every change of groundlevel and street-crossings would have my leg collapse in pain - and we pushed on. Most of the time, I was clenching my teeth hard, thinking of a patch on one of the rucks - "Suffer in Silence". On the absolute last stretch, I was called out as a 'casualty'. Team would have to carry me. 3-man buddy carry (one under my legs in front, and one on each side of my shoulders). I couldn't hold in my tears - they were streaming down, but at least I tried not making any apparent sounds. I don't know what hurt the most, the actual pain, which was insane or the personal failure, despite it being from an injury. I still felt I had more to give. I just couldn't on my leg, and everything took its toll on that damn leg..)
Having someone injured in a team, a group of people - having a casualty, will ultimately do one out of two things. Either, it will break the team - or it will make the team. This team was made, if it had not already been. This team was solid - and this team could not be broken apart by bullying, casualties, extra PT or being put on the spot. No matter how long it took, no matter what we had to do - this team was there to stay.
We made 84km/52miles in 21 hours. I don't think I've ever rucked that fast for that long.
I proceeded to skip Challenge for recovery, and continue on for Light (with Cadre shaking his head at me!) & Scavenger after that.
For the rest of it; it was awesome.
It was fun.
So much Guinness. I was labelled the Leprechaun! Getting to know all of you - Id take that over anything, any day. Even if, somehow, 10 kgs in weightplates never showed up again! Haha, I still don't know who borrowed those..
In regards to the injury; I now know what ITB Syndrome is, how to treat and prevent to some extent - and that's valuable to me. Knowing myself, and being able to help others in the future. Still would do it all over again. "